a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
