If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
