D3 body, D1 cock
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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