I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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