In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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