You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
