Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
