shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
