I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
