Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
