Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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