It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have post one night stand depression
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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