you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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