he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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