If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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