I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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