i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
