FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
