WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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