she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
