he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
