im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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