i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
