honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
