Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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