The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
