I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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