Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
