if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
