So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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