oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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