My sheets look like a crime scene.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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