Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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