Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
