make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
