So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
