My hand turned me down
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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