i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
