Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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