.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
