So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
