I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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