I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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