I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
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