I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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