I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
