hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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