I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
