she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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