And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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