It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
