while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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