hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
